Epic Fail: Hammond can’t handle Burmese horsepower! | Series 21 | BBC

Epic Fail: Hammond can’t handle Burmese horsepower! | Series 21 | BBC


Taking one of Jeremy’s ill-advised shortcuts, the boys realise they’re all running low on petrol. Cue a horse-ride to the next village in order to find fuel. Clip taken from part 1 of the Burma Special.Subscribe for more awesome videos: YouTube channel: TopGear.com website: Facebook: Twitter:

With the town behind us,
progress was good. And then… it wasn't. My fuel gauge is…
just on the top of the red. I don't have one. What I do have is the same engine as you, but a much heavier truck,
so, I must have used more. And out here, on my short cut,
there were no filling stations at all. The needle is now…
nearly all in the red. Trying to use the tiniest
throttle movements, just to keep it ticking along. In the next village, James and I decided
to pull over and dip our tanks. -I've got no fuel.
-None? But– A smear on the end of the stick. What's the news? None. I mean, it's dry,
I don't know what I'm running on. If you actually run a diesel out you've
got to bleed the system, haven't you? -And it's hours.
-Yeah. Well, look, why don't you just go
and snout around the village and see if you can find some? -Why me?
-You're the youngest and the fittest. It's your fault we're in this situation. -But I'm old and hot.
-It's your shortcut. Seriously. If somebody's got to go,
it's you, mate. Right, right, I'll go. -Fuel. Diesel.
-And as much as you can. Yes. Diesel. What is Burmese for diesel? -How do you mime diesel?
-Mime a lorry. And then do that. Right, so I'm a butler with Parkinson's
and I've got a gun. Jeremy headed off. And was gone for quite some time. Still quite hot, that. -Done the oil.
-Have you? Are you reading Bridge On The River Kwai? -Yeah, he's just gone into the hut–
-Bad news. -What?
-Bad news. -What?
-I haven't been able to get any diesel. However, I had come up
with a clever alternative. No, you halfwit. There's no diesel in this village,
but there is diesel in the next village. So, we use the horses
to ride to the next village, get the diesel, bring it back
to the trucks. We're not in a Western. -I can't ride a horse.
-What? Well, I might have been pony trekking
when I was eight, but… -Well, it'll be in there, won't it?
-Well, I wouldn't use that one there. Holy moly! Why do they have five legs in Burma? -Maybe it's so it can milk itself.
-Shall we… Shall we spend all day looking
at a horse's willy, or shall we go? Oh, it's gone wrong. Being the most experienced horseman,
I took the frisky five-legged stallion. We're on. Oh, Christ almighty! Hello, horse. I shall call you Tesco. Ready, steady, go. Well, I've bought a stalled horse.
It's going backwards. -I've bought a reversing horse.
-I think if we get moving, yours might follow more readily. James, can you turn right and go up there? Come on. Turn around.
How do you make it turn around? Does anybody know how to start
a Burmese horse? Go on, follow your mate. Yes. Very good. -The controls are reversed.
-I'm off! Oh, yeah. Yeah! Soon, James was getting a taste of what
the ride was like in my sports lorry My nadgers are getting a pummelling. Look, there's anal action going on here. It's 'cause my horse is going up
your one's bottom. -Oh, Christ, we've had an accident.
-You go ahead. I'm terrified! It's… My nads are killing me! -Oh, stop that! Please don't fight!
-Walk on. I'll stop calling you Tesco
if you promise not to fight. Go! Walk. There you go. -Oh, God!
-Oh, God above! -Not much further now, James.
-Jesus! I mean, Buddha! A few hundred yards further on, Richard's stallion decided to get
amorous with James's mare. Has he gone? -What happened?
-It reared and mounted that. Don't get kicked. Things quickly went to pot. This is the doctor, going to attend
to Richard but the van is stuck. I've just dismounted my reversing horse and actually genuinely
have hurt my testes. I can see why they should be glue,
these things. Richard was diagnosed
with a suspected broken wrist and went on a four-hour journey
to the nearest hospital. So, I walked my horse
to the next village to get fuel and then, we found a spot
to camp for the night. Here, while I enjoyed the view, James
unveiled his sleeping accommodation. A mountaineering tent
he could suspend from his crane. So, I'm going to rest it
against the front of the cab, So all these bitey ants,
they don't get in your tent and eat you. It may have been insect-proof… but soundproof? No. I want to go to bed. But I can't, with that racket going on.
Listen to it. The next morning
I discovered that Hammond was back. -So, that's just a sprain?
-Yep. Not bust. Nothing exciting. So, what is it you have to do,
basically steering? -Yeah, be all right.
-You just have to… -Yeah. Still do that.
-Right. And how was sleeping in your lorry? -Not bad. What about yours?
-Fine. Where did James sleep in the end?
What's he done? Oh, he's got
some stupid high-tech mountaineering tent he's hung from his crane. Why's it up there? Well… you know his snoring? -Yeah.
-Quite loud. So, I moved him a bit further away. Jesus… Clarkson!

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